I don't have expectations of anyone. I don't expect anything from anyone, but that doesn't mean I don't want things.
I think a lot of men, and even some women, confuse an independent woman with a woman who doesn't want a man to take on a masculine role in a relationship.
I want to make my own money. I want to build my own career, pay my own bills, and know that I can take care of myself. That's where I find a lot of my power as a woman. But when it comes to the future, marriage, and building a family, I absolutely want a man who can provide for me and our family.
And there's a difference between wanting a man who provides and expecting a man to fund your entire existence.
Honestly, I find it pretty disgusting when I hear women going around saying, "You have to buy me this," or "You have to pay for that," as if a man owes them something simply because they're a woman, especially when there's no intention of reciprocating or bringing anything to the table themselves.
And I know I'm a woman who has the whole fucking table to offer.
If I'm choosing to be with someone, it's because I WANT to be there. Not because I need their money, their validation, their emotional stability, or someone to complete me.
Being independent doesn't mean I don't want to be vulnerable. It doesn't mean I don't want to lean on someone, ask for help, or have someone hold me when life gets heavy. I think we sometimes confuse being strong with never needing anything from anyone. I don't want to live my life proving I can do everything alone. I already know I can. I want to experience what it's like to have someone who makes life a little easier, not harder.
I think there's so much power in being financially, emotionally, and mentally independent. Not just as a woman, but as a man, too.
When two independent people come together and choose to build one life, that's a true power couple. It's two people who are capable of carrying their own weight but willingly choose to carry each other when necessary.
If one person is operating at 50% one day, the other can show up with the remaining 50%. If one person only has 20% to give, the other can bring the 80%. And eventually, the roles might reverse.
That's partnership.
I think we have too many people looking for someone else to provide the things they haven't learned how to give themselves, whether that's financially or emotionally.
In my opinion, nobody should know you better than you know yourself. You should be willing to dig deep, understand who you are, recognize your shortcomings, and learn how to show up for yourself before expecting someone else to do it for you.
And honestly? Money doesn't really impress me.
If you make more money than me, fucking awesome. Let's do it. If I make more money than you, that's fucking awesome, too. I want a secure man. A man who isn't intimidated by my success, who celebrates it, and who understands that my accomplishments don't take anything away from his.
If I end up making more money than my future husband, I'll be your sugar mommy. Just kidding. (Mostly.)
But seriously, money doesn't turn me on. Your bonus, your paycheck, your fancy car? Good for you. I'm proud of you. Yay!
But if you fold my laundry?
Now we're talking.
You could have the biggest bonus in the company, but if you walk into my apartment, see a pile of clean laundry, and start folding my pants without being asked, those pants are coming right back off.
Because THAT is hot.
At the end of the day, I don't care how impressive your job title is if you don't know how to show up for me. I care about the little things. Filling up my gas tank because you noticed it was empty. Bringing me food when you know I've had a long day. Remembering the little details. Folding the laundry without being asked. Those are the things that make me feel loved. It's not about what you can buy me. It's about how you think of me when I'm not around.
I don't want someone to take care of me because I'm incapable of taking care of myself. I want someone who wants to take care of me because they love me.
And I want to do the same for them.
There's a difference. Be with someone because you WANT to, not because you need to.
Ultimately, I don't want a relationship where two people are constantly keeping score of what they bring to the table. I want two people who recognize what they bring individually and appreciate what they create together. I want a love that feels like a partnership, not a responsibility. A homie-lover-friend I can laugh with, grow with, build with, and occasionally threaten to withhold affection from if they leave their laundry on the floor.(guilty) Balance, people.
