New Girl Crashes Random Dude’s Birthday Party

For someone who works in a social career and wears confidence like no other… I was SO nervous meeting new faces this past weekend. Let alone over 15 of them. So nervous that I took two shots of Captain Morgan with a Monster before arriving at the pre-party.

But Danny has been such a good friend to me out here, introducing me to his people and making Arizona feel a little more like home. Danny and I go wayyyy back. At this point, we’re basically brother and sister. From growing up in the Chicago suburbs to now living in Arizona. From being carried out of basement windowsills (that’s a story for another time) to walking the streets of Old Town… we have grown. Or at least I did.

Danny&Avery before we drink every ultra.

I had brought a sleepover bag over because I knew it was going to be one of those nights. I texted Sienna from back home, “High school Avery is coming out.”

And let’s just say… she partied like she was on Jersey Shore. Indeed, high school Avery came out.

After me stressing for an hour saying, “OMG, what if no one likes me?” the Waymo had finally arrived. For anyone who doesn’t know what a Waymo is, it’s basically a car that drives itself. We started the ride to the birthday boy’s house listening to Can’t Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue. What a throwback.

Our Waymo was being extra naughty, too. Speeding and cutting people off. Do you think it sensed two Chicagoans ordering the ride?

We finally arrived, and my nerves weren’t as heightened. The liquor had loosened me up, and I was ready to have fun and make new friends.

And I can confidently say… I did.

Little guy wanted some cake too.

Everyone I talked to or encountered was super kind, cool, and welcoming! We cheered to Jell-O shots AND Rumple Minze—the key to my heart.

Then we sang “Happy Birthday” to Mr. 23 and smashed the cake in his face. Took some more shots. And then we hit the town.

It was my first time riding in a Fetii, which is basically an Uber party bus service. SO cool.

And before you know it, we’re skipping to the front of the line at Estelle’s, and Bobby Shmurda is handing Emma and me a rose.

A yellow rose. Which is even better because yellow is my favorite color. That was definitely not on my Bingo card for this year. Neither was drinking bottle service at his table.

Of course, at some point we ended up at Boondocks. I’m not really sure how long we were there because of a game of “What Are the Odds?” resulted in one person getting kicked out…The birthday boy.

So naturally, everyone else followed.

He just wanted to be that bitch on an elevated surface. And well… the birthday bitch got carried out.

Whining, “But it’s my birthday!” didn’t help either. So we said thank u, next and went to some other bars.

We ended up walking through the back door of some club and at some point met some guy named Karter.

Karter with a K. Who the fuck is Karter?

He did ask if I wanted Taco Bell the next morning, which is another way to my heart.

But still…Who tf is Karter?!

We eventually ended the night with McDonald’s.

Danny got hot mustard instead of HONEY MUSTARD.I literally almost choked and died in front of him—which wouldn’t have been the first time. (When I got carried out of a basement windowsill, like I said… a story for another time.)

I woke up with no hangxiety, just my hair flyers scattered all over Danny’s place.

Honestly? What a fun and adventurous night. I was so nervous going into the night about meeting a whole group of new people, and I ended up having one of the most random, chaotic, and genuinely fun nights since moving to Arizona.

Maybe I should stop worrying so much about whether people are going to like me. Maybe I just need to let high school Avery out every once in a while.

And to the birthday boy: Have the best Jordan year. Drink more rumpies. And please, for the love of God, find more elevated surfaces to stand on.